Conspiracy Nation -- Vol. 9 Num. 04

("Quid coniuratio est?")


In the Carpathian Mountains, hidden deep in a cave, is the infamous GOP Propaganda Machine. Warped, bitter old men, with no meaning to their lives, puff smelly cigars as they invent new tales about dashing Bill Clinton, the U.S. President.

In the dimly-lit cavern, they cackle with glee as they hatch supposed "news" items meant to splatter the clean-cut image of our beloved William J. Clinton.

(Lurking in the shadows, behind the table around which the GOP propagandists are hunched, the apparent face of "Black Dog Paulson" can be barely distinguished.)

The dried-up old men of the GOP Propaganda Machine, whose own days of youthful pleasure are long since gone, have a penchant for libidinous tales. They delight in portraying chaste and church-going Bill Clinton as a modern Don Juan, obsessed with sexual conquest.

And, it is to be noted, the Carpathian Mountains are not so far from Italy, home of the secret society, P-2 -- also known as Propaganda Due!!

From their Carpathian cave, the word goes out: this time to their apparent tool, the scandal sheet known as The Star. From thence, unwitting dupes of the GOP conspiracy -- such as Conspiracy Nation (CN) and its "Editor-in-Chief" -- are sucked in by the lurid details. Though kindly "pro journalists" do their best to steer such dupes away from the propagandists' infamy and onto the Correct And True Path(tm), their selfless efforts are sometimes in vain.

And so, CN picks up the tale and passes it along to its readers, reporting that.......

The Star (9/10/96) has as its cover story the "White House Call Girl Scandal." I am providing here additional details which may not yet be known to readers. The two major protagonists in the unfolding story are Dick Morris, a top political advisor to President Clinton, and Sherry Rowlands, a reputed "call girl" said to have been paid $200/hour by Morris in return for sex.

ITEM: Morris is said to have told Rowlands, "they've got to protect me -- I'm the only one who can get Bill re-elected."

ITEM: According to The Star, the Rowlands/Morris love nest was paid for by Clinton campaign funds.

ITEM: The Star hints that over $12,000 paid by Morris to Rowlands this past year may have come out of his expense account and not from his own private funds. Based on information from Chuck Hayes, of "5th Column" fame, as broadcast on the Media Bypass Hour (9/3/96, shortwave, 5.065 MHz, 10 - 11 pm CST), White House Press Secretary Mike McCurry has denied that such private funds were used. But, Hayes predicts that McCurry is going to have to make a retraction; that expense account money was directly used in return for "services rendered" by Rowlands.

ITEM: Morris is said to have sat through high-level White House meetings, preoccupied by "sexual daydreams about top women staffers with hot legs and brightened fingernails and toenails."

ITEM: Morris reportedly says that President Clinton "lacks compassion and common sense" and frequently explodes into temper tantrums.

ITEM: Morris reportedly says the White House is now full of intrigues and plots amongst several factions therein.

ITEM: According to Rowlands, Morris describes the Whitewater scandal as "Hillary's little Whitewater mess."

ITEM: There reportedly has been in the works a White House plan to market a "U.S.-approved" label to be sold by the government to foreign factories which pass U.S. inspections. Presumably, this would help prevent sweatshop conditions in foreign factories.

ITEM: Morris apparently was himself hep to the GOP Propaganda Machine! He is reported by The Star to have confided to Rowlands that, "I've got some people from the Republican Party who would really love to get hold of a story like this -- they could use it against me."

Next week in The Star, by Sherry Rowlands: "My White House Love Diaries."

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Aperi os tuum muto, et causis omnium filiorum qui pertranseunt. Aperi os tuum, decerne quod justum est, et judica inopem et pauperem. -- Liber Proverbiorum XXXI: 8-9