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("Quid coniuratio est?")
A L E R T A L E R T A L E R T ######### ######### #########
1420 HOURS JULY 7, 1996
SYNCPAC XX/24 COMMAND
ALL MILITIAS STAND BY
A FULL SCALE YELLOW ALERT HAS GONE INTO EFFECT AS OF 1400 HOURS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. ALL UNITS ARE TO STAND BY AND AWAIT FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS FROM LOCAL COMMANDERS. IF ALERT IS UPGRADED TO LEVEL ORANGE, YOU ARE INSTRUCTED TO REPORT IMMEDIATELY TO PRE-ARRANGED RENDEZVOUS POINTS, AS PER NON-ALIGNED CODICIL ##35-A.
SEVERAL REPORTS HAVE COME IN WARNING OF "PROJECT SATIRE", A SATIRICAL ATTEMPT TO CONFUSE REDNECKS IN OUR RANKS WHO HAVE RARELY IF AT ALL VISITED A LIBRARY. "PROJECT SATIRE" SAY THESE REPORTS BEGAN LAST YEAR WITH PROJECT "ROLLING THUNDER", A MAJOR JOKE PUT OVER ON DUMB REDNECKS BY SATIRICAL FORCES.
BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR OFFICIAL LOOKING "ALERTS", USUALLY HIGHLY CAPITALIZED AND CONTAINING TERMS LIKE "YELLOW ALERT", "ORANGE ALERT", "RED ALERT", AND "ALERT".
HIGH LEVEL SOURCES, STILL NOT 100 PERCENT CONFIRMED, HAVE REPORTED SATIRE BEING USED AND SEEN IN PLACES SUCH AS WYOMING AND ARIZONA. **WARNING** SHOULD INDIVIDUAL MEMBERS SPOT A "SATIRE", DO NOT -- REPEAT: DO NOT -- ATTEMPT CONTACT. REPORT ALL CONTACTS TO IMMEDIATE SUPERIORS AND ON UP THE CHAIN OF COMMAND.
REPEAT: A YELLOW ALERT IS NOW IN EFFECT. ALL UNITS STAND BY. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
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