Conspiracy Nation -- Vol. 5 Num. 74

("Quid coniuratio est?")

They Died, That The U.N. Might Live

Based on a recent MacNeil-Lehrer Newshour on PBS, during which Tweedledum (Council on Foreign Relations) and Tweedledee (Carnegie Endowment) "debated" the Bosnian situation, it seems likely that certain powerful forces are itching for U.S. involvement in that region:

TWEEDLEDUM: [He's not sure how best to proceed but] yes, it seems likely that U.S. troops will have to be committed to the region in order to assist withdrawal of U.N. troops.

TWEEDLEDEE: Can't say I agree with you on the minor points, Tweedledum, but we will, as you say, be forced to commit American forces. We have no other options in the region.

MODERATOR: Well folks, all experts agree: "War is peace" and the lives of U.S. troops will soon be at risk, all for "peace", of course. There are no other options.

So, in order that snotty Europeans (who look down on Americans anyway) will not be especially contemptuous of us; in order that the U.N. can escape from the area without getting their blue berets all soiled; in order that the U.N. does not look even more ridiculous so that, in future, it can again intrude uselessly on some hot spot and allow eggheads and academicians to play at soldier -- all "experts" now agree -- American boys and possibly girls are going to have to lay down their lives and/or limbs.

Some may say that the dirty Serbs are raping the Bosnian women and are doing ethnic cleansing. But how can we believe them? They always say things like "They are raping the women" and "They are eating the babies", etc. So how do we know they aren't lying now? Read, for example, Thomas Wolfe's Of Time And The River for a portrait of the young Wolfe's furor at the atrocities being done by "the Hun", including the infamous "Rape of the Belgian Nuns" -- which never happened -- all as prelude to World War I.

Look for 25,000 U.S. troops to be put on the ground in Bosnia -- not as a military involvement, mind you! -- but just for the cause of "peace". Then, when the flag draped caskets start coming home and the mothers, fathers, and lovers are torn apart in their grief, we can all take comfort that "They died, that the United Nations might live."

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Brian Francis Redman "The Big C"

Coming to you from Illinois -- "The Land of Skolnick"