Conspiracy Nation -- Vol. 10  Num. 73
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                     ("Quid coniuratio est?")

ELVIS (PROBABLY DEAD) STILL IN THE NEWS

Elvis Presley, the rock and roll star, is probably long since gone to the "Graceland in the Sky." Some, though, say Elvis still is alive, or at least did not die when he is supposed to have. They point to discrepancies in medical examiner reports, witness testimony, and where the body was found (bathroom vs. bedroom). (See It's A Conspiracy by Michael Litchfield; ISBN: 1-879682-10-9; see also, The Elvis Files by Gail Brewer-Giorgio, Shapolsky Publishers, 1990)

Sorry to disappoint Elvis fans, but this editor thinks he's really dead. But he's still in the news.

1. The latest Penthouse magazine (August 1997) carries a "Special Report" entitled "The Secret Sex Life of Elvis" (by Alanna Nash). If Elvis is a hero to you, you might not want to read any further. According to the Penthouse article, "The King" was a bit unusual in some ways. That does not detract from his being a great singer; still, any macho image he had is now limping -- and that's not all that's limp, according to Nash. Reportedly, Elvis had gone impotent in his final years, due at least in part to extremely massive intake of narcotics, both uppers and downers. That is ironic, given the famous picture of Elvis Presley and Richard Nixon shaking hands in the Oval Office: Elvis was there to offer help to Nixon in the Ancient-War-On-Drugs. Elvis the Pelvis, whose "drug protocol," says Nash, "was so intense and stultifying that often he would get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and never make it back to bed... [He would wind up in the bathroom,] sprawled on the floor, zonked out and cruising his own private hemisphere," was also, according to Litchfield, "an honorary Agent-at-Large of the Drug Enforcement Administration."

   I hesitate to go further. I will, but with the understanding that drug addiction can happen to anyone, and, to paraphrase "Chief Broom" from Ken Kesey's novel, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest: "At first Elvis swallowed the drugs; later on, the drugs swallowed Elvis."

   Elvis allegedly had a thing for young adolescent girls. Nash speculates that "The King" was overly attached to his mother and could not relate normally to mature women; presumably, Presley sought out very young girls because he felt threatened by women his own age. As time passed, the rock legend's alleged drug abuse took an increasing toll: his weight ballooned to 250+ pounds and eager groupies expecting a hot night with the macho symbol found instead that he was unable to perform sexually. And here's what else drugs did to Elvis: "Elvis occasionally lost control of his bladder and bowels, which meant more than one woman awoke to find a surprise in the bed." (Nash)

   So, is Elvis dead? Sure. Drugs do that to you.

2. In a separate item, The Spotlight this week (7/14/97) focuses on a report in The Star (6/26/97) which claims that The "Church" of Scientology is responsible for reported health and emotional problems of Lisa Marie Presley, Elvis Presley's daughter. Lisa Marie Presley, reportedly a member of Scientology, has allegedly "become totally captured by Scientology" and "anyone who gets too close [to Ms. Presley] is surrounded by uniformed Scientology security guards and pressured to move on." (Spotlight) The Spotlight also quotes from the late Elvis Presley regarding his opinions on Scientology: "That s.o.b. group -- all they want is my money." Has Lisa Marie Presley been captured, (a la Howard Hughes, but by a different gang)? Is Scientology still after Elvis's money?

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