His Highness, King William Clinton I, is reportedly set to declare, by Executive Order and thereby bypassing the Parliament, that Prince Nick O'Teen is exiled from our shores.

His Highness, fresh from an exhilarating afternoon of humping a comely wench at his secret apartments in the Royal Mariot, was not yet reached for comment.

His Venerableness, Auld Ted Kennedy of the Massachusetts fiefdom, opined that tobacco is "a gateway drug" which leads to harder drugs, including the notorious "reefers" of marijuana. His Venerableness suggested, nobly, that in light of increased drug abuse amongst troubled teens, it is Kingly and Manful for His Highness, Clinton of Arkansas, to save them from themselves.

Questions arise as to if the loyal subjects of the Arkansas Lothario are about to shudder through a collective nicotine withdrawal. Is America about to suffer a massive nicotine fit? Not to worry. Increased funds for the Imperial Federal Dragoons are indicated. To those who dare disobey His Royal Highness: Off with their heads!

Brian Redman | | ftp pub/users/bigred Editor-in-Chief | ---------------Phone: 217-356-4418---------------- Conspiracy Nation | "The perfect slave thinks he's free."