Conspiracy Nation -- Vol. 9 Num. 25

("Quid coniuratio est?")


GOOD EVENING MR. & MRS. AMERICA AND ALL SHIPS AT SEA


Let's Go To Press.......
FLASH. Reno says yesterday that TWA 800 mystery "may never be solved." Today they say, "could be mechanical failure." Tomorrow it will be, "looking again at the missile angle." The TWA 800 merry-go-round is brought to you by corporate drones, the same folks who bring you plastic, "comedy" shows, and stirring tales about how tough it is for the women. Also assisting in the kaleidoscope of bomb/mechanical failure/missile reportage has been the FBI, the same folks connected with Waco, Oklahoma City bombing, and the Martin Luther King assassination.
FLASH. Mexicans Flood Into USA. Displaced American workers don't like it, but corporate employers and yuppie stockholders are pleased. They know the Almighty Stock Market will go up, up, up with depressed wages, so they say, "Bienvenidos, amigos!" Why bother bringing the factory to the Mexican when you can bring the Mexican to the factory? Whining American families complain about crap wages, but are reassured by perfectly poised college boys who strike a learned pose and explain, "Only Mexicans will work for crap wages."
FLASH. Bill Clinton says, "Economy is good." Meanwhile the gap between haves and have-nots grows. Bill Clinton is no dummy: he knows which side he wants to stay on. The rich man's press says, "Let's keep things quiet until after November 5th."
FLASH. Thirst For O.J.'s Blood Heightens. Bored, frustrated housewives, cruelly deprived of the pleasure of symbolically castrating a black man, are once more salivating as Circus II gets underway. Why, this news is so "important" it might just pre-empt coverage of the OKC bombing trial!
FLASH. Yet Another "Hero" About To Be Born. It's rah-rah time as corporate cheerleaders get set to unveil their latest "hero," astronaut Shannon Lucid. And won't handsome Bill Clinton look nice in a clean new suit as he and the latest distraction from real news are photographed together? America's heart will skip a beat, and it will be Feel Good Time(tm). It's a Bold New Day(tm), as womyn show that there's nothing they can't do!
FLASH. Aggrieved Persons Receiving E-mail From Disgruntled Conspiracy Nut. On a sad note here in Happy Land(tm), there are cranky malcontents peddling twisted so-called "news" via the Internet. Perfectly Nice Happy Americans(tm) are having their day ruined when they innocently read their e-mail; messages of a disturbing nature make them all sad inside. What can be done?
FLASH. Don't Worry. Be Happy. Downhearted? It's all your fault. Yes, you live in a world of lies. Yes, most of your fellows have willingly sold themselves to lies. But you can take advantage of Pollyanna Philosophy(tm). So what if you're worn out from overwork. So what if the wolf is at the door. Just say to yourself, "Is the glass half-empty or half-full?" That's sure to put a Winning Smile(tm) back on your face! And hey: Just relax. It's gonna be all Happy News(tm) from now until November 5th!
       Views expressed do not necessarily  reflect  those
       of Conspiracy Nation, nor of its Editor in Chief.
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Aperi os tuum muto, et causis omnium filiorum qui pertranseunt. Aperi os tuum, decerne quod justum est, et judica inopem et pauperem. -- Liber Proverbiorum XXXI: 8-9